We’re spending a lot of time thinking about baby names recently, and wondering who exactly is in there growing away...
With Ozzy it was easy - we waited until after the gender scan to talk names, and had our list of top ones pretty quickly. This time it’s so different. It feels strange to spend hours choosing a boys name for someone when you don’t even know if they’re a boy, and vice versa. Neither of us have a clue what to expect with this baby, and fortunately we just don’t mind.
As you can imagine we have had A LOT of the following comments:
I know they’re well meaning, throw away comments. But a lot of my preggo friends have had the same. This won’t be a rant - sorry to disappoint. People can comment what they want on the speculative gender and I understand why some people want one of each - I do get it!
Although however your family is made up, it is NEVER an incomplete set or 'not a proper family'. It could be you, your partner and a fish called Fred living in a treehouse. You’re still as much a family as married a couple who live in a semi detached house and have 2.1 kids. No family is more complete than another.
But as for me, I really genuinely honestly from the bottom of my heart don’t know or mind or care one bit who comes out of me in roughly 17 weeks. I don’t even feel ready to find out yet, part of the reason we didn’t at the scan. I don’t need to know yet. I’ll meet them when they’re ready and find out then.
It’s FINE to have a preference. Obviously everyone just wants a healthy baby, that goes without saying. But picturing one or the other in your future is normal, and it doesn’t mean anything about how much you’ll love them. We both wanted a boy last time. Couldn’t tell you why, just did. But if Ozzy had been a girl then from the second we met her, we would have loved her like she was all we ever knew. It’s fine to daydream though. And it’s fine to not know either.
We have the most beautiful little boy, how could I not want another boy when he’s this great? I often think brothers with a 19 month age gap would be closer than a big brother and a little sister. I’m not sure if that’s true though. But I see photos on Instagram of brothers (Siobhan from @thepositivebirthmama posts photos of her little boys sleeping in a cot together and it makes my heart melt every time), and I wonder what Ozzy would be like with a brother. I think about them getting into scraps and tumbling around in the mud together. Partners in crime and causing mischief. Although I think that can be said for my brother and I growing up too.
I think about having a girl. I think about whether a daughter would be a vastly different experience from having another son. We would probably buy them a few dresses, although I expect they’d be in a lot of bright orange giraffe print leggings either way!
But having any second baby will be different from having Ozzy; boy or girl. Another boy won’t be another Ozzy. They might have some similarities, sure. But they’d have their very own wildly unique personality anyway. We could have 5 boys in a row and I can bet none of them would be the same.
All I know is that a rough 50/50 mixture of Tom and I made Ozzy. One of us is responsible for his obsessive love of yogurt and the other for his wild temper. We’re the reason he loves dogs and cries when he is told no. He gets his constant fidgeting and also his crazy stubborness from us - and we could have 100 children and never quite recreate his exact personality. He is wonderfully himself.
This next baby could be a boy or a girl, it’s not important which, but they’ll have their own mixture of us to make up their personality and they’ll be as magical as their big brother either way. But for now it’s extremely strange trying to name them, it might take us a while.